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Happy Birthday, Earth
You may not have known this, but...
In the space-year 514,682,612 Jupiter, who was going with Pluto, had an illicit affair with Mars. Pluto was never around (or as he put it: "I've just gotta a really big orbit, baby") and Jupiter was depressed. She put on a lot of weight and got kind of gassy. And collected rocks.
Mars was young, hot, and blind drunk when he fell out of his orbit for a few fateful centuries. In a particularly dark and seedy corner of the universe he encountered Jupiter, lolling in a gaseous heap, and they made sweet, sweet space-love. Actually it was kind of gross. The crushing, toxic, and somewhat slimy encounter was cataclysmic for the inhabitants of Mars, but he didn't care because he's a dick.
Mars eventually wandered back into his orbit and carefully avoided aligning with Jupiter, who periodically fired asteroids in his direction with little hearts carved on them. He usually batted them into the sun. Then one day, 2008 years ago, she fired something else. It was a little, blue, moldy baby called Earth.
They have orbited side-by-side ever since.
And that mold, product of the passionate mashing of foamy, noxious gases and enormous red space-sperms, grew into you and me.
Isn't that romantic? Or something?
2007 was a pretty great year for Earthlings who play an excellent, though admittedly cosmically insignificant, video game called World of Warcraft. But 2007 is OVER.
Which means it's "at this time last year" time...
At this time last year you were still wondering what the Burning Crusade title screen would look like, and you still needed 40 people to raid anything that dropped epics.
At this time last year Talash was still doing WTF Weeklys on the front page.
At this time last year Talash was still playing WoW (as were Dorant, Raica, Niknak, Memnon, and Aiwass, among many more)
At this time last year you had never met Jaspin, Ladros, Eressa, Quaffle, or Pillow, only old FFXIers knew Ryuuku, and few of you knew Finial, Oshara, or Fish as anything more than random names in the raid window.
At this time last year I was on PST and still thought 10:00 server was "pretty early" to end a raid.
At this time last year you used thottbot, or maybe allas, but had never heard of wowhead.
At this time last year there was no armory.
At this time last year Myrlas had already left Cenarius, then come back, then left again I think... or maybe he was back. Either way, he was different.
At this time last year there was not one single heroic instance.
At this time last year if someone said the word "curator" you would have thought "museum guy!"
At this time last year "it's not rocket surgery" would have sounded wrong to you.
At this time last year you had never seen a Gronn, and Gruul was just something orphans ate.
At this time last year we were collectively shocked by the deaths of two Watchers: Beliala and Etroth. My heart goes out to their families and friends who are currently dealing with the first anniversary of their deaths.
At this time last year Caillech was Member of the Week. To my knowledge, she still is (though for some reason Drarant's old one is showing up).
At this time last year you thought 73 DPS on a Naxxramas one-hander was retardedly overpowered, basically wrecked PvP, and dammit, stupid Blizz, wth?
At this time last year there was no way to see your total spell crit without an add-on.
At this time last year I was still being surprised by pickles.
Happy New Year everyone!
2008 will bring more fun and more drama, more epics and more greens better than epics, new talents, new quests, new 5-mans and new raids. New Watchers will say hello and old Watchers will say goodbye. There will be lots of good. There will be a little bad. There will be one more turn around the sun.
Don't miss it!
Happy New Years Watchers.
|31 Dec 2007 by carwin|