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Where teh news at?
There hasn't been much news lately. There are two reasons for that:
1) There hasn't been much news lately.
2) I can't update the site as easily from my new job as I could at my old.
Nothing encourages frequent updating more than being paid salary to write goofy Watchers stories.
I'm sure that's all about to change with the upcoming addition of ZA. In the mean-time, it's my honor to present:
A short story
By Maddog / Cidmafous
Well I remember it as if it were yesterday… or two days ago, sometime this week I believe. So there I was sitting in the stockades improving my bedpost shank when I heard it: a drunken dwarf, the best sound an inmate could hear. I had heard tales about them. Apparently a few months ago some guy named Carwin Gershtank had busted up some prison riot that was going on, but also stole some plans for some crazy weapon or something and had also needlessly killed most of the prisoners. Anyway, because of this drunk dwarves weren’t allowed anywhere near the jail, but when I heard him falling down the stairs I was happier than an Orc on prime rib day. The strange thing was that there was a gnome trotting behind him, trying to persuade him not to do the thing I wanted him to do. I couldn’t let that happen.
“Don’t listen to that gnome I know you want to fight one of us”
The gnome apparently knew my plan.
“You! You be quiet, I know your plan. You just want to escape.”
“Yea no crap, you think I want to be in here? Lets’ watch you try to convince your drunk friend otherwise.”
The gnome was starting to get worried.
“Horun I really don’t think we should do this, Captain Croyden isn’t going to be happy if someone escapes”
“POINT TO ANYONE, I BET I CAN TAKE EM!!”
At this point I thought best to add some comments.
“OH! OH! Take on my cell mate, he's the toughest guy around!!!”
The gnome, Tweakey, looking extremely worried at this point, ran in front of the dwarf, but to no avail. The drunken dwarf ran right over him. Horun kept walking to my cell and by the time he reached my block I could tell how drunk he was: there was rum all over his beard and I could smell it from 3 cells down.
“All right where’s the human who wants to get beaten.”
“Ummm dwarf….Horun…..is it….we are in the cell behind you.”
The dwarf turned around, hit the lock with his fist, and nothing happened. He contemplated this for a second, and then got the keys from the winded gnome. With little effort the gnome gave up the keys and the dwarf came back to my cell. I used my invisibility spell and when the door opened I was out of there. Freedom at last, I thought. I walked toward the dark staircase. I could breath fresh air again and it was glorious. I opened my eyes to see the stairs and with a sudden flash I had tripped over the gnome. The taste of dust and debris from the prison riot had filled my mouth once again, and not only that my invisibility spell had gone away. I was as visible as a stealthed tauren. On top of that, the Captain of the guard was looking right at me.
“What is going on down……oh dear…..”
He couldn’t get anything else out, I had fire blasted him against the wall. It knocked him out. I thought that would be the last surprise until I heard the dwarf screaming about how there was no one in the cell. Apparently he just found out that I had no cell mate, though I wondered who he had been fighting this whole time. I ran out the stockades with haste and started heading toward the Slaughtered Lamb with haste. Jarel the bartender would know how to get me out town without the guards finding me.
Jarel was able to sneak me to Goldshire with his friend's food cart. Unfortunately one of the people of Goldshire I believe ran off to report to Croyden. I knew that I had to make it to Darkshire before dark. Unfortunately I got there at dusk, and unfortunately Tom and Gary were there waiting for me. Tom and Gary worked for the pirate captain Zerol of whom I had owed a small favor to. I had to get out of the dark town, but they had other things in mind.
“Where do you think your going Cid? Big Z wants to have a little talk”
Realizing I had other things important things to do I innocently told them that I have other important things to do and ran passed them. I headed toward Raven Hill cemetery. It was at the cemetery that everything went horribly wrong. I reached the catacombs, my old hideout, and cleared it of zombies and other undead miscreants. I found that my gold and another certain valuable possession were missing and all that was left was a letter... a letter from a certain female, who should never have been shown this hiding place.
This is what it said:
Dear Cid Dumbass,
I have your money. All of it. And god knows how many people you’ll owe when you get out of jail. I also have your prized possession which I know you’ll miss oh so much. Anyway, I'm running off now, have fun trying to find me. By the time you do your money will be spent, and I’ll have a new hat… ta ta…
Boy if I could tell you now the anger that was going though me at that moment, I would have destroyed that whole dammed crypt. But I controlled myself and left peacefully as the zombies where beginning to piece themselves back together. Exiting the catacombs I noticed that Tom and Gary had caught up with me, but they seemed to have been burned and hurt by someone. Not wanting to pry into anyone else’s business I headed in the other direction. It was then I met this weirdo named Jorren. He seemed nice enough, and he told me that he could give me a lift out of the graveyard, so I happily obliged because I didn’t feel like waking anymore. So I hopped up on his gryphon (named Bongo) and we headed south. I was dropped off at the docks and your men found me and brought me to you and so here I am now.
Captain Zerol starred me in the eyes with a look of disbelief…
”Amazing story” he said, “But I didn’t ask for any of that. I asked why were you in jail, not how you got out and managed to make it to my town.”
He was not a very happy dwarf today I could see.
“Well in that case allow me to tell you the tale of how I ended up in jail..." I started, but he interrupted me.
“I don’t want to hear another batch of lies and stories, I know you attacked Tom and Gary, not simply walked past them, and I also saw no gyhphon named Bongo land anywhere near my docks.”
“Well that’s because I was dropped from the sky. That weirdo wouldn’t shut up about how his milkshake brought all the gnomes to the yard, so I jumped and slow fell into your town. Very dramatic entrance I thought. And I was in jail because someone ratted me out, which I came to you to find out who. But I already found out. Now I want to find them, and someone else.”
Zerol was looking at me with complete amazement now.
“Oooh, you want me to help you find your las, and an unnamed party, after you hurt my men and owe me money. You’re a funny man Cid”
“Yes” I replied, “I'm funny. Now if you’ll help me ill gladly be out of your town...”
He looked back at Tom and Gary, both of whom looked very angry with me, and then back at me.
“Who ye looking for Cid”
I interrupted before he could finish
“Then ye be lookin for...” I cut him off again
“Then you can search for him your self, after ye do me a favor.”
What might be the favor? Who's teh Gershtank? The world may never know. Unless Cid writes Part II!
Get on it MD.
|05 Nov 2007 by carwin|