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The Great Race: Outlands

Questley’s Police Statement
Re: the events of Monday, Oct. 8th 2007
Made under confidence at the Shattrath Police Department, 3rd district.
Supervising Officer: SA Watchley

Questley undercover shift begins 7:00 PST (10:00 EST) on aforementioned date.

I made contact with the target again. He was sharply dressed, as usual, and carried a closed-top stein of beer, or some other alcohol, again as usual. As he requested at our last meeting, I met him in the basement of the Honor Hold inn.

I was alarmed to see the number of people in attendance for what I had understood was a private meeting. A portal had been opened secretly between a large pair of kegs, and roughly a dozen shady characters of assorted ethnicity and means had gathered there. Managing the portal was one spectacularly unsavory looking character who went by the name of “Gary” – he had demon horns, no less!

Suspecting a set-up, I tried to turn and depart immediately. However a seemingly friendly gnome by the name of Beans handed me a red shirt (some sort of club uniform I suppose) and led me into the room.

Apparently our planned gem exchange was not to occur tonight. Something bigger was in the works. I felt very caught-out and vulnerable. I tried to have a word with my contact, but he was engaged in a knife fight with an ill-tempered gnome called only “Runningcroy”. I kept my distance.

The one named Gary seemed to be the ringleader. He said we were to hit the streets as a group and “hail” various individuals around Outlands. They were:

* A guard, any guard, at the Cenarion Expedtion.
* Khadgar in Shattrath (!!!)
* Gary himself, outside of the Nagrad Arena.

To this day I don’t understand the motivation behind this activity. I suspect some package was being secretly delivered amidst the hailing, though the inclusion of Khadgar himself has me scratching my head. Perhaps this thing goes higher than we’d like to know.

There was to be compensation for the best performers. I will try to record what contraband went to whom, for possible future prosecution.

Up the stairs went the group, in a mad tangle of flailing arms and daggers. The people of Honor Hold were no doubt surprised by the sudden appearance of such a large, rag-tag group in their midst. I must admit is was rather funny.

I expected we’d be taking gryphons, but no! Out the gates of town we went, into the wasteland of Hellfire Penninsula. I was horrified, but kept pace with the group nonetheless, lest my cover be blown.

I didn’t even see the first one coming.


Horrible, horrible pigs, with tuskedy tusks the size of your forearm, came galloping out of the twisting red Hellfire haze. One gored a person just ahead of me at what must have been twenty miles per hour. They hit the ground in more pieces than one. It was the most horrific sight of my life… or would have been, if not for what happened next:

Everyone laughed!

Even the dying man, Sisu, he was laughing! Gary appeared by his corpse and give him a little prize. For DYING.

So it was all laid bare. I had fallen in with more than just some shady dealers. These were maniacs. Cultists. Suicidalistic nihilists!

Here are some highlights of “the second great race”:

* My contact, his knife-dueling partner Runningcroy, a woman named Petalfist and a woman by the name of Shishi all did very well right off the start.
* The one called Shishi got herself horribly wedged between a cluster of jagged crystals and, not dead but incapacitated, could only lay and watch as the race concluded without her.
* I personally was murdered repeatedly (only to be resurrected again, for good or ill) by a creature hiding under a bridge I was expected to cross. It spit acid. Corection: It spit acid on me. Until I died. Repeatedly.
* Sisu, Chakaal, Runninskeerd and Zaphira were similarly treated in Zangar. Acid to the face, all that.

I came in roughly sixth, for which I was awarded a heap of some poisonously prepared fish.

Just when the worst seemed at an end, they began to kill each other in the arena. A hunter by the name of Horunskeith unleashed wave after wave of poisonous vipers to hunt us down one by one. Gary’s Felguard minion freaked out and butchered Shishi and several other younger participants for no clear reason. Runningcroy stabbed me in the back.

It was pretty cool.

Great event everyone! Thank you for showing up and making it so much fun. As Beans said: “We should do this more often!”

For more detail on prizes, winners, losers, etc. as well as the continuing adventures of our favorite insurance extortionist, make sure you read Tom's thread, here

Definitely worth the read!

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06 Oct 2007 by carwin

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