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As you've probably noticed, all the wonderful comments you've all made over the years were deleted. Some asshat ad-bot spammer forced us to wipe them. Comments are locked for the foreseeable future, unfortunately, so you'll just have to project your love for my rapier wit via hoodoo mind-beams.
On with the news:
Last Wednesday we busted down the gates of Karazhan for the first time: 9 watchers and one good buddy in tow. As you may or may not know, Karazhan is the great dwarf tower to whence d0rfs would travel to pay hommage to their reptilian Gods in days long passed.
That's entirely and completely wrong, of course, but if you want to learn about the lore you'll have to ask Caill. If you want to learn about the brand new and exciting raid action there's only one man you can turn to... Bewmbewm!
On the first trip we ooh and aahed at the quest givers, at the loading screen, and at the pretty stair cases. Then we stormed into the stables. The destructive orgy that followed saw many a pony cut down mid-frolic, and many a strapping, mustachioed stable boy cruelly beheaded. And Bewm just egged it all on.
As a way of welcoming Watchers to the instance our very first slain pony dropped an epic. Boots of Elusion. A TANK epic. I did a backflip in my chair, which really impressed Cimo. But Male won them. That's ironic, because just the day prior he was lecturing me on the evils of pony slicing and on how much he hated the word "Elusion." I'm not one to lightly throw around words like "traitor" and "lucky bastage," but Bewm is. And he did. He said it all.
We went on to pull a lonely, flaming horse named Nightmare (real clever name there) only to find his owner - Attumen the Huntsman - isn't real big on us re-slaying his loyal stead. He's a really self-assured sort of guy. He's not just Attumen on the surface - he's Attumen to the Core!
I'm not one to make puns, but Bewm is. He wrote that.
[Edit: His name is Midnight, not Nightmare, you nub!]
If I'm elected, I promise a Watcher in every pantry!
Next we went up through the barracks and the kitchen, a long and terrible route, and into Moroes' Dining Room. He's the castle steward, and is stuck presiding over all these dull events Medivh is apparently always throwing and then not showing up to. I wonder if Moroes might stop feeling so dang morose if he'd take a break and visit those ladies up near Maiden of Virtue? Maybe he'd even change his name to Cheeyr. Or engoregd.
It's terrible the things Bewmbewm says.
We wiped until bed time on the tricksy bugger, but we mostly figured out his deal. So we came back the following week (this week (yesterday)) and stomped over Attumen like he was a straight forward tank and spank gear check or something. Then we wrecked the ballroom instead of bumbling through those annoying barracks and downed Moroes and his friends in a brisk three tries.
Next time I'm thinking one.
Let's just all rush Moroes and see if we can push him through that window.
The night was on it's way to wrapped up at this point, so we zerged up the stairs, killed some hoe's (did you realize even teh hot ladies get gross after they die? Who knew?) and threw out a single attempt against the unfortunately located Maiden of Virtue. With a name like that, she might want to pick a different hallway to hang out in. Or maybe she's one of those "Jimmy didn't count" kind of "maidens."
Bewm's presence has exponentially increased the level of smut in this post. I'm going to cut it short before it barrels totally out of control and I'm just rattling off swear words and bits of anatomy interspersed with LAWL! and MANG!
Please pass teh epix.
Awesome adventurin' everyone! Thanks to everyone who came and kicked arse the last two weeks. I can't wait to do some more!
You can keep up with our Karazhan progress here on the good old raid progress chart.
Boots of Elusion - Maledictus
Harbinger Bands - Bewmbewm
Spectral Band of Innervation - Bewmbewm
Steelhawk Crossbow - Branwenn
Gloves of Saintly Blessings - Katala
Crimson Girdle of the Indomitable - Carwin
Edgewalker's Longboots - Bodiceripper
There's more to come. Lots more!
|12 Apr 2007 by carwin|