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Sick of ZG?
Before I get to the story, a quick news bit:

The very last Molten Core before we all ding 61! This coming Wednesday the 17th, grouping starts at 6:30!

Now on to our feature presentation:

Alternative Raiding
By Tom and Branwenn

As many of you are probably aware, we moved last weeks Wednesday raid from it’s normal ZG venue. With BC quickly approaching, many folks expressed an interest in trying some of the zones we have never gone too, even if it meant chain-wiping. So, it was decided we would raid The Mall.



Below is a transcript of the raid for those that missed it. We had some initial difficulties getting there as many folks didn’t know where it was, others got random aggro in the surrounding area, and some, like myself, had trouble finding a place to park their Nightsaber. The transcript starts just before the first pull.

Carwin: Has anyone been here before?
Everyone: No
Carwin: Hmm, okay then. We will do it Watcher style.
Maddog dances with Jorren
Jorren flirts with Horun
Horun flirts with Jorren
Jorren flirts with Maddog
Maddog flirts
Darkae: Why is everyone taking their pants off?

I cut out a 30 minute section here where we explained pantslessness, /dancing, /flirting, dice rolling Watcher style, pots, and why there is a snowman in the raid.

Carwin: pulling as soon as Katala is back.
Katala: Oh, sorry, been back.
Carwin: INCOMING:

I cut out another section in which we cleared trash mobs. Many with names like Young Man, Slow Walker, Hoodlum, Indecisive Shopper, and Bargain Hunter. The only notable mob was Shoplifter, which was stealthy and, oddly, could be sleeped by a Druid. These Shoplifter mobs, or the even more annoying Pickpocket mobs, were everywhere. They seemed to add to every fight, and killed more then one caster. We eventually learned to watch for them, and after Branwenn used Beastlore on one, it was discovered that Shoplifters actually count as weasels, and Pickpockets as snakes. So Horunskeith tamed one as his new pet.

We eventually got to the first boss.

Carwin: Anyone know anything about this boss?
Niknak: I hear the adds keep spawning until you kill him. About 1 every 20 seconds. I also hear that they have a lot of hit points.
Carwin: Okay, Jorren will tank the adds. Bewmbewm, try sheeping one. Talash, they may be elemental, try banishing them. Everyone else, assist Bodice.
Cimorene: Heals: Katala and me on Carwin, Mem on Jorren, Prolix on everyone.
Carwin: Okay, here we go.
Carwin: INCOMING



Jorren: SONOFA… my Taunt has been resisted by
Explorer performs Rollover on Gnecter
Gnecter is stunned
Bewmbewm: unsheepable
Jorren: Okay, I have agro now
Jorren: SONOFA…my Taunt was resisted by
Talash: I can’t banish them.
Lexus Performs Style on Gnecter
Gnecter is stunned
Jorren: SONOFA…my Taunt has been resisted by
Volvo performs Airbag on Gnecter
Gnecter is stunned
Katala: Carwin? Do you have agro, you don’t seemed to be getting hurt.
Carwin: No, he hits like a pansy, but his Tip ability keeps taking my Gold
Jorren: SONOFA…my Taunt has been resisted by
Sentra performs Low Sticker Price on Gnecter
Gnecter resists Sentra’s Low Sticker Price.
Jorren: SONOFA…my Taunt was resisted by
Ferrari performs Sleek Lines on Gnecter
Gnecter is stunned
Gnomercide: LOL, [Gnomish Universal Remote Control] works on the adds.
Explorer performs Rollover on Ferrari.
Gnecter cries.
Valet Attendant has died.
Your share of the gold is 1954c
Carwin: I tipped him 23g that fight Sad
Bodiceripper: LOL, I picked his pocket and got [Wad of ones]
Carwin: [Keys for Unexploded Pinto] [Vest of Safety] [Mace of the Fire Pepper]
Everyone:OMG [Vest of Safety]
Carwin: [Vest of Safety] /roll upgrade

I cut out 2 pages of rolls, while only 4 people made real rolls (Jorren:12, Carwin: 97, Male:98, Horun: 99), Maddog and Katala rolled 53 times trying to beat Horun’s roll. It was then followed by 10 minutes of the 4 rollers debating who should actually get it and in the end was awarded to Arma, since he usually has aggro, anyway.

Carwin: [Mace of the Fire Pepper] /roll upgrade
Niknak rolls 34 out of 100

Maddog dances with Gnecter
Horunskeith slaps Jorren
Jorren cries at Horunskeith
Jorren goes to sleep. ZZZzzzz
Horunskeith flirts with Speedy
Everyone flirts with Speedy
Everyone sits (on Jorren)

Carwin: anyone else [Mace of the Fire Pepper]
Everyone cheers at Niknak
Bearaxe rolls 38 out of 100
Carwin: Grats Nik…Bearaxe
Everyone: lol

1 more page of Maddog trying to roll higher then Bearaxe, and failing

Carwin: Okay, lets head to Santa
Everyone runs toward Santa
Security Guard: Stop running
Everyone: LOL
Everyone runs towards Santa
Security Guard: Stop running
Everyone: ROFLMAO
Security Guard: I said stop running you Hooligans
Gnomercide: WTF, I have agro from
Gnomercide: err, Security Guard
Bodiceripper: assist me on
Security Guard calls for help
Memnon: 2 Security Guards…
Jorren:lol, he called for help with 95% health left
Maddog:sissy
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help
Bodiceripper: assist me on
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help

Memnon: um, 4 more guard adds
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help

Aiwass: wow, 8 more guards
Carwin: AE!!!
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help
Security Guard calls for help

Maddog: OMG, we can’t beat The Man!!
Everyone dies



after wiping to security, we did our corpse run, rebuffed, and headed back in. Security Guards were now agro mobs and we wiped 3 more times to them. Eventually we managed to sneak by using the following trick.

Carwin: remember Bran, they have a smaller agro range if you turn on walk

5 minutes of us trying to remember the command to walk. Eventually, after using the /help command it was determined that you walk but tapping the run forward button repeatedly.

Branwenn stutters toward guard
Security Guard: I said stop running!
Branwenn feigns death
Security Guard is confused
Security Guard: This is why you shouldn’t run in the mall.
Security Guard Performs Write Report on Branwenn
Security Guard: sorry, Night Elf, it is time for my coffee break.
Security Guard uses Breakroom Stone.

We resumed our run to Santa Clause, Guard free. We discovered that the area between the Valet and Santa, by bug or design, was some sort of arena where effects could be used on other players, but no actual damage was dealt

Horunskeith performs Wingclip on Jorren
Carwin performs Stun on Horunskeith
Branwenn performs Scattershot on Carwin
Bodiceripper performs sap on Branwenn
Bodiceripper is frozen in Bearaxe’s icetrap
Bearaxe is Sheeped by Armagedonit
Armagedonit is Mindcontrolled by Katala
Katala is Seduced by Gnomercide’s Succubus
Gnomercide is Knocked Over by Talash’s Snowball
Talash is Stunned by Maledictus’ charge
Maledictus is Sheeped by Darkae
Darkae is Gouged by Aiwass
Aiwass is Hamstrung by Jorren
Jorren performs Stand in Line
Carwin performs Cut in Line on Jorren
Bodiceripper performs Cut in Line on Jorren
Everyone performs Cuts in Line on Jorren
Jorren sighs
Horunskeith pushes Talash
Talash pushes Gnomercide
Gnomercide bumps into Tethered Child

Mom Yells: DON’T TOUCH MY CHILD!!!
Mom becomes Outraged
Mom swings her purse wildly
Everyone dies


After a quick corpse run, and with much less pushing and shoving we get back to Santa and realize that Mom and her 8 Tethered Children block the entrance to Santa’s Village.

Carwin: Lucky charms are up, Jorren tank X and skull.
Bodiceripper & Aiwass: I’m not sapping a 10 year old!
Gnomercide & Talash: Um, Car, Seduce? A 10 year old? Really? That’s really sick, you know!
Armagondonit: Um, sheep an 8 year old! Doesn’t that violate some labor law or something?
Jorren: OMG, I can’t hit a little girl!
Carwin: Hmm….okay, new plan….any ideas?
Niknak: I read the only way to win the event is with some kind of distraction.
Bearaxe uses Distracting Shot on Mom
Mom yells: HOW DARE YOU?!
Everyone dies

Corpse run



Carwin: I think I have another idea.
Carwin: Talash, how many snowballs do you have?
Talash: with me or in the bank?
Carwin: with you?
Talash: 600…
Everyone: WOW!!
Talash: …with me, 4500 in the bank. 56000ish if you count bank alts
Carwin: Okay, new plan. Talash, give everyone some snowballs.
Talash trades snowballs to everyone
Everyone throws snowballs at everyone
Everyone is out of snowballs

Memnon: That was inevitable, you know.
Carwin: we are gonna need more snowballs and this time don’t throw them!

10 minutes where Talash hearths to IF, grabs 1000 more snowballs, is summoned, trades them to everyone, and following Horun’s lead everyone proceeds to throw them at each other. Talash is ported to IF, grabs another 1000 snowballs, is summoned again, and hands them out again.

Carwin: Anyone who throws a snow ball before the fight starts has to farm Sillythis rep!
Everyone doesn’t throw a snowball
Carwin: Incoming
Carwin throws a snowball at Mom
Mom: Which one of you did that!
Jorren throws a snowball at Mom
Mom: You kids are incorrigible
Everyone throws snowballs at Mom
Mom: Gah, pah, pff
Talash gives Tethered Children snowballs
Tethered Children throw snowballs at everyone

Mom Yells: Stop that right now
Everyone throws snowballs at everyone
Everyone takes cover and continues to throw snowballs

Mom Yells: I WARNED YOU! WE ARE LEAVING! NOW!!
Mom drops her Bags of Christmas Loot
Mom performs Yank Tethers
Mom performs Storm to Car
Everyone cheers
Carwin opens Bags of Christmas Loot

Carwin: [Office gift] x15, [Sweater] x3, [Shirt of the Disco King]
Katala: I could use a Sweater, I think. Slight upgrade over [Windbreaker]
Carwin: Unless anyone needs one I am just gonna vendor the 15 [Office Gift]
Jorren: I kinda like the [Shirt of the Disco King]
Carwin: [Sweater] /roll if you’ll wear it. Top three win.

I cut out the following 10 minutes. I personally am embarrassed and ashamed in the manner in which we, as a guild, acted regarding these sweaters. I am as much to blame as everyone and in retrospect, it is best that the officers stepped in. I for one promise to never act in such a manner again and I think we all owe Jorren and Bearaxe an apology.

Carwin: [Shirt of the Disco King] Upgrade /roll
Horunskeith: Wow, nice graphic
Jorren rolls 4 out of 100
Cimorene: Lol, it comes with a hairy chest graphic
Whind rolls 93 out of 100
Aiwass: looks good with [Pants of the Bellbottom]
Maddog rolls 92 out of 1000
Everyone laughs at Maddog
Everyone cheers at Whind

Carwin: Grats Whind
Whind: Oh, no I don’t want that. The sparkles break stealth.
Carwin: Grats Jorren.
Jorren: Really? Cool, thank you.
Everyone dances
Carwin: Okay everyone, one more boss. Santa Claus!!
Everyone cheers



Carwin: Anyone know the strat for Santa Claus?
Maddog: Hey, you can click Santa Claus! He’s got a gear!
Jorren: LOL, clicking on him makes you sit on him like he’s a chair.
Santa Clause says: And what would you like for Christmas, Jorren?
Jorren: LOL!! I want a Red Rider BB gun, and a Super Soaker 3000. LOL!
Jorren receives [Red Rider BB gun] [Super Soaker 3000] [Bag of Momentos]
Santa Clause Yells: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL< AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
Maddog says: CAPS LOCK NOOB!
Carwin: Hmm, he despawned!
Jorren cries
Jorren: Well [Red Rider BB gun] and [Super Soaker 3000 ] are BoE and [Bag of Momentos] is full of [ Mementos of Remembrance ].

Merry Christmas all and may the new year be good to you and your loved ones.
08 Jan 2007 by carwin
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